Another Semester. Another End.

Another semester is coming to an end.  As you may remember from previous posts (or not, I don’t expect you to be as involved with me as I am with myself) the ends of semesters mean lots of research papers and presentations that lead to massive panic attacks and breakdowns…not massive enough that I get out of the projects…and that is a good thing.  So many things have been ending lately.  Some are good, some suck.  There are other things I wish would end that just aren’t ending quickly enough (like my auditing job).  This summer is going to be one of road trips and good times as I feel this may be the end of my summers as I know them, but then again I seem to say that every summer.  The 3 or 4 summers following this one will be spent in school…and then a career.

With all this emotional turmoil these couple of months, and especially with the revelation of new things these last couple of weeks, I am hoping that the tears, the pain and the stress will end.  Or at least ebb away.  I have hope.  I cannot wait…or can I?  I love school and I love the challenge of research papers and I hate becoming complacent in my life and thrive on change and not being in the same place all the time, but my feeble emotions tend to differ from time to time.

Today I wrote in minuscule print all of the things on my mind lately and all the things that I have been talking about…honestly and openly, with no regards to how people would feel.  I feel as though I can’t really tell people how I am feeling or what I am thinking…things get awkward.  Today’s thoughts unfortunately are way to intimate and brilliant to share on a public blog.  But I had the idea that I should leave it somewhere for someone to pick up…wouldn’t that be interesting to stumble upon?  (Speaking of StumbleUpon…best application ever!  Google it, download it, and go!  Seriously though)  I would love to find someone a complete stranger’s innermost thoughts upon the ground, especially with the knowledge that I might know them but I will never know for sure.  I would then walk around wondering if it could be that person I was passing.  However I did not execute this plan.

Research is calling me.

Peace.

Post Script:  I sneezed 17 times in the process of creating this post.

California Trippin

Sculpture Garden at the Hsi Lai Buddhist Temple

The places chacos go.

Tree in the gardens of the Winchester Mansion in San Jose, CA.

Blue print for the Winchester Mansion...that was built.

The door to Nowhere. The entire mansion has such crazy architecture and ideas. It is wonderful.

Yes, that is the Full House house in San Francisco.

San Francisco door. Neat, huh?

Corey at the Fort Mason Pier in San Francisco.

Garrett at Fort Mason

Golden Gate Bridge from Fisherman's Wharf

Night Lights

Jeffrey and I went on a road trip last night.  We left at 1030 pm and arrived back home about 630 am.  So what did we do during this eight hours of joy you ask?  We took lots and lots of pictures in Ogden, Salt Lake and Park City.  Here are a few and I heart them.

This one is taken close to Ensign Peak.

This is on the landing of the State Capital Building.

This is a random set of doors in downtown Salt Lake.  Lovely.

This one is downtown Park City.  So cute and colorful.

Peace.

In Jackson and Happy

I hate Christmas.  Whenever people find this out they are simply confused and just don’t know quite how to react.  Christmas use to be fun when I was little.  Nate and I would always find the presents before and always knew exactly what we were getting, but Christmas morning no one would know.  We were that good.  My favorite year was when I found my mom’s hiding place on top of the fridge of the list of everything she had purchased for everyone and how much everything cost.  I won by a long shot.  For some reason I think the most is always sent on me.  I wonder why that is.  Probably because my parents love me the very most.  The night before Christmas Eve Kenny and I would always sleep under the Christmas tree and just look up into the lights.  One of the only parts of Christmas I still enjoy is lying under Christmas trees.  Then waking up at four in the morning on Christmas and sneaking down and looking at everything before anyone else got up.  Then pretending to go back to sleep.  I see a pattern…it seems as though I just really like to know exactly what I am getting…I must not like surprises.  Maybe I just show way too much through my facial expressions and this makes people feel bad, so it is really an act of service to search out all of my presents.

But the reason I don’t enjoy this season is due to the stupidness of it all…yes, it is a very mature reason.  I hate how people are only nice to everyone once a year.  But this is not even true.  They choose who they are nice too.  Have you ever worked in retail during the holiday season?  Everyone is so demanding and rude and they have to have it all and they have to have it now.  It makes me irratable.  And sad.  I don’t like being treated like I am stupid by people who didn’t think to go shopping before the last 10 days of Christmas.  Stupids.

I also hate the music.  I really like to have music that no one really knows.  Freud would probably say this is due to the fact that I have a bad relationship with my mother or something and I need to pull away from society because of this and I do this through my need to have music no one but other awesome people know.  Christmas music is the same 10 songs over and over each year.  Some sleepy, some folky, some R&By…all with the same words.

Today while redoing the window at the airport for work, a fellow manager and I decided that is why I come to Jackson so often and such random times…not because of Christmas, but because I just like to be changing and pull away once I get into a groove.  I get sick of Logan and move to Jackson.  After 4 months in Jackson I can usually use a nice break in Logan…but as soon as I get back I long for Jackson.  This is my true home.  In the summer I hike and swim and raft.  In the winter I get to snowboard and snowshoe and cross country ski.  Plus there are barely any tourists.  It is great.  My fellow manager also decided that when I come back in the summer I need to find my self a sugar daddy so I can just stay in Jackson and play.

Keep your look out for any good prospects.

Peace.

Road Trips

It is amazing to me that some road trips don’t seem long enough while others seem like they will never end.  In the last two weeks I have gone on two weekend trips.  The first, the conversation was so engaging and I forced myself to drive slower so that the conversation would not have to come to an end.  The second, I drove almost 100 mph the entire way because there were about 3 words spoken per hour and I just wanted the drive to end.  So interesting to me.

Me dear friend and I also had a fascinating conversation about religion this week until 3 in the morning and we could have continued on much longer.  It was interesting to me.  She said that she just doesn’t try to think about religion, but once she had we just sat and speculated.  I love my major even though I am not a fan of organized religion for myself.

Peace.

a good weekend

Friday:

Went to school.

Had an evening with books and coffee and of course fun with Randee.

Went and saw Bond with Alex, Garrett, Devin, and Rachel.

Watched first (okay not first, but other most recent) Bond with same friends minus Rachel.

Saturday:

Went to a Mormon Fundamentalist church house and talked with some members for a couple of hours in Lehi.

Went to a Buddhist Temple in SLC and talked with the minister.

Ate Buddha’s Feast at P.F. Changs…mmmmmm.

Went to an interesting bookstore in SLC.

Great conversation the entire day.

Went and saw Drew Danburry play = love.

Drew The Man Danburry

Watched Step Up.

Sunday:

Woke up at noon (had gotten up soooo early all week).

Watched this last weeks Grey’s.

Home decored the house with Jeff.

Cleaned the bathroom and bedroom.

Went shopping with Jeff.

Beautiful.

Peace.

Yes We Can

It scares me sometimes to voice my opinion around family and friends because it usually leads to an argument and anyone who knows me knows that I am pretty chill and like to discuss things, but once they turn towards resembling an argument I just walk away.  I like to discuss in an open manner, respecting and throwing about ideas, I don’t want to fight or prove that my way of thinking is better than theirs because everyone can think however they want.  They must have justified their thinking with some sort of rationalization. If it is a poor rationalization or justification, then this is fine.  It will be them who looks like an ass or an idiot in front of others.

But here I express my opinion:  I think Obama will be just the thing America needs to take it not necessarily in an entirely new direction, but it will take a look at much needed changes.  GOBAMA!

Peace.  Seriously. Peace.

Lazy Days, A Lazy Life

Here I sit on a chilly Sunday afternoon curled up in an awkwardly yarnish blanket.  I have buddy the ratted yet oober happy dog on one side and whitey the ginourmous cat on the other.  This is what my life has been lately.  I need to get another job…or just a different job.  I feel so lazy, but this isn’t me.  I need to do something, start going.

Maybe I should sort mail on weekends at nights, or work in a hotel lobby.  Ideas anyone?  I hate job searching.  But, alas, it must be done.

Peace.

November…seriously?

Last night I walked out of a little barn house at 2 in the morning and was amazed to feel the warmth of the air.  Even more enthralled when I realized it was now officially November.  November brings cold.

Pros:  I get to wear cute accessories like hats, mittens and scarves, and it means the season of lots of pumpkin pie and chocolate.  And this year my goal is to learn how to snowboard.  Should be a good adventure.

Cons:  It’s cold, I get miserable and my toes always hurt.

Welcome winter (rather reluctanly) and welcome 2009 because you are quickly making your way upon us.

Peace.

Career Fair

Went to the career fair today on a whim.  I wasn’t planning on it.  Plus I woke up late and put on a really gross sweater that is about 3 sizes too big, haven’t worn it in years.  Glad I went though. As soon as I walked in I was still quite awkward and had not adjusted.  Man asked me if I was interested in Homeopathic Medicine.  I said yes.  Not being prepared with questions I felt like a fool.  Awkwardly stumbled through and then moved onto the next homeopathic medical school.  Asked questions, but was not impressed as the representative seemed awkward and could not answer my questions.  Moved on to the third school: National College of Natural Medicine.  Soon became a love affair.  Oriental medicine and acupuncture are a seemingly natural path for me.  Came home and looked at acupuncture schools in America.  Lovelies <3

Peace.

Post Script:  Paranormal shows fascinate me.  Want to see a ghost, but not really.  Amazes me.